Autumn Is…

Autumn is…

Image via stock.xchngThe bite in the air, the smell of pumpkin.

A time of harvest and thanksgiving.

Warm colors and changing leaves.

Blah, blah, blah.

I love fall.  It’s my favorite season.  But if I’m being honest…

Fall is…

Clothes that cover up my ever-expanding body.

The only time of the year it’s acceptable to eat your feelings as much as you want because it’s the holidays.

The end of making excuses why we can’t go to the beach or the pool and I can leave the bathing suit on the top shelf of the closet where it belongs.

The Ladies Retreat–a weekend with no men and no children and no responsibilities.  Just God and us women, feeling loved and appreciated.

Coloring my hair the perfect shade of dark chocolate with just a hint of red.

Not shaving my legs every stinking day.

Not sweating.

And that is why I really love Fall.

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Crisp apples, picked from the orchard, and brilliant leaves blending into the sunset along the horizon mean autumn has arrived in Michigan.

If you’re in one of the areas of the country still sweltering in summer-like temperatures, perhaps George Eliot can help bring some autumnal memories to the surface:

Delicious autumn!  My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive
autumns. ~George Eliot

For you, what does autumn evoke?

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The Test

This was absolutely the last time she was going through this.  This morning, carefully counting the days on the calendar, she had felt the familiar panic.  35 days between cycles.  Not completely out of the ordinary, but definitely pushing the boundary, even for her.  It was still too early to worry but she couldn’t dismiss the possibility from her mind.  Another child.  That was definitely not part of the plan.

Too early or not, she had tossed a pregnancy test in her basket at the grocery store.  As she loaded the groceries on the conveyor belt, the test was too conspicuous.  Three boxes of cereal, four gallons of milk, juice boxes, snack crackers, and the other products advertising the fact that she already had a large family made her self-conscious.  What would the check-out girl think when she scanned the pregnancy test?  Irresponsible. Welfare Mom.  As the girl scanned the test, she watched her face.  Nothing.  Paranoid.

When she got home, the kids were outside helping their father with the yard work.  She lugged the groceries into the kitchen.  It was a mess.  Cereal bowls with stuck-on dried cereal littered the counter.  The empty cereal box and gallon of milk was still out on the table and there were pools of milk on three of the five place mats.  The fourth was a sprinkling of crumbs.  Her coffee cup on the fifth.  A high-chair covered in baby cereal the consistency of concrete would fit right in. She started putting away the groceries, carefully avoiding the bag with the test inside.

That done, the laundry was next.  The kids were out of socks.  Again.  She headed to the kids’ bathroom to gather the whites from the hamper.  She found about 10 socks in the hamper, the rest were on the floor among the other laundry.  She also checked the kids’ rooms and found odd socks amidst the toys and books all over the floor.  There were always odd and mismatched socks when she did the laundry.  Tiny baby socks will be even harder to keep up with.

When the whites were churning in the washing machine, she sat down to have another cup of coffee.  Enjoy it while you can.  The pregnancy test sat in front of her.  She read the instructions, as if that were necessary.  One line, no.  Two lines, yes.  She wanted to do the test while she was alone in the house.  She went into the bathroom and carried out the unpleasant procedure.  Now all she could do was wait.  And think.

She cleared the kitchen table, obsessively glancing at the clock.  I was going to go back to work in the fall.  One minute gone.  She scrubbed the cereal bowls.  My body is almost back to normal after 3 kids.  Two minutes down.  One left to go.  She stood in the middle of her kitchen, watching the hands on the wall clock tick, too quickly.  We’re financially strapped as it is.  I wanted to take a few college courses, get my degree.  I’m already overwhelmed.  The bedrooms are full.  Where will she sleep?  I gave away all the baby clothes.  I can’t do this!  Three minutes.  It was time to check.

She took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom, her future waiting for her on the side of a sink.  One line, no.  Two lines, yes.  She looked at the test.

One line.

She exhaled. She could carry oot her plans for school and work.  She didn’t have to give up coffee or her newly toned body.  She thought she’d be happy.  Elated.

She was wrong.

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This post was written according to the following prompt from the red dress club:

Write a short piece – 600 words max – that begins with the words, “This was absolutely the last time” and ends with “She was wrong.”

Have fun with it. Think outside the box. Don’t go with the obvious.

A Return To Reading: Elegance and Ecology

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http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/Daily Foglifter:  Hedgehogs swim, climb walls and trees, and can run with a speed of 4.5 mph.

I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been reading very much lately.  I have three library books out and I’ve already had to renew them once.  That gives me four more weeks to finish them before they’re due.  I have also borrowed two books that I need to read and return.  I hope to get all five done in a month’s time.  It’s my Return to Reading challenge. 

Reading is a habit, but, unfortunately, it’s one that is easily broken.  I forget for a few days and suddenly it’s two weeks later and I haven’t read a thing.  It’s bad for my brain and it’s especially bad for my writing.  No one writes well who doesn’t read well.  Fortunately for me I have chosen two spectacular books to read first.  I don’t usually start one book before I’m done with another, but it was by happy accident that I discovered a book while at my in-laws’ house.  My extremely well-read father-in-law had checked a book out and I was intrigued by the title and picked it up.  I was hooked by the end of 10 pages.  So, it’s two books this week.

The book I picked up is Ecology of a Cracker Childhood by Jannise Ray.  Ray is a Georgia gal from the small town of Baxley, located about 78 miles from where I live.  The book is about her quest to save the longleaf pine ecosystem.  The subject hits close to home.  In the last month I’ve seen acres of pine trees cut down around my home for, I assume, another neighborhood of houses no one can afford to buy.  I normally wouldn’t read an “environmental” book because, quite frankly, they’re preachy, elitist, and dry as dust.  Ray is different.  It’s a book about conservation, yes, but it’s so much more.  It’s about her hard childhood and her effort to escape the embarrassment of living in a junkyard in the poor South.  It’s about her family and her connection to the land.  The story of her life and the history of the longleaf pine are woven together in a beautiful tale of loss and hope.

The creation ends in south Georgia, at the very edge of the sweet earth.  Only the sky, widest of the wide, goes on, flatness against flatness.  The sky appears so close that, with a long-enough extension ladder, you think you could touch it, and sometimes you do, when clouds descend in the night to set a fine pelt of dew on the grasses, leaving behind white trails of fog and mist. 

At night the stars are thick and bright as a pint jar of fireflies, the moon at full a pearly orb, sailing through them like an egret.  By day the sun, close in a paper sky, laps moisture from the land, then gives it back, always an exchange.  Even in drought, when each dawn a parched sun cracks against the horizon’s griddle, the air is thick with water.  (pg.3, Introduction to Ecology of a Cracker Childhood)

The other book I’m reading is The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery.  I’m only halfway through this one but I absolutely love it so far.  I have a feeling it might end tragically but it will be a pleasurable pain.  With writing this sublime, how could it not be?  It was translated from French, and I can only imagine how much better it would be read in its original language.  The story is told by super-intelligent 12-year-old Paloma and Renee, a concierge in an elegant Parisian hotel.  I’m not going to go into the plot.  I’d rather you discover that for yourself. 

 

So, we mustn’t forget any of this, absolutely not. We have to live with the certainty that we’ll get old and that it won’t look nice or be good or feel happy.  And tell ourselves that it’s now that matters: to build something, now, at any price, using all our strength.  Always remember that there’s a retirement home waiting somewhere and so we have to surpass ourselves every day, make every day undying.  Climb our own personal Everest and do it in such a way that every step is a little bit of eternity.

That’s what the future is for: to build the present, with real plans, made by living people.  (pg. 129, final paragraph of Profound Thought No. 8 )

 

Note:  Both these books are available at thriftbooks.com