Tropical Storm Beryl is just off the coast.  She’s been teasing us with gusty warm winds and spurts of heavy rain.  Other than that, it’s been clear blue skies.  I must say, as far as tropical storms go, she’s not that impressive.  Then, we’re not supposed to feel the full force of the unfortunately named storm until late tonight and tomorrow, so I might regret those words later.  In honor of Ms. Beryl, I’ve put together a list of other things that blow.

1.  The name Beryl.  Beryl is Greek for “blue-green.”  Blue-green is a beautiful color, but its name sounds like something you’d hear in the backwoods of Georgia or in the hills of Kentucky.  Or maybe in a quaint small town in Vermont.

“Hi. I’m Larry. This is my brother Beryl and my other brother Beryl.” (Yes, I know Beryl is a girl’s name, but this is what I thought of and, admit it, it’s funny.)

The word, “Beryllium” derives from Beryl and is much prettier.  And useful.  If you recall, a Beryllium Sphere was what powered the ship called the NSEA Protector in the movie Galaxy Quest.  Without a working ship, the crew might never have conquered the evil galactic war lord, Sirris, thereby saving the Thermians and returning to Earth.

If you haven’t seen this movie, well, that’s just unacceptable. It’s hilarious.

2. Air conditioners that don’t work.  (For this fascinating story, look here.)  Yes, it’s blowing.  No, it’s not cooling.  Still.

3.  Summer grocery bills.  When school is in the kids eat a bowl of cereal at home and then dinner at night.  I only have to worry about lunch on the weekends.  When school is out I have to worry about three meals a day, plus snacks.  Lots of snacks. I don’t know what it is about being home that makes kids want to eat all day, but it does and they do.  I went to the grocery store today and had to buy 3 loaves of bread, 3 packages of lunch meat, 2 containers of Kool-Aid, 4 gallons of milk, and 4 boxes of cereal.  By the time my cashier had rung up all that plus what I’m going to need for dinner, I was whimpering.   Next week, I’ll be whimpering again.  5 kids are murder on the grocery budget.

4.  Summer Birthday Parties.  Two of my kids have birthdays in the summer and it blows planning a party that nobody will attend.  One is July 6, which is a terrible day and the other is  in June, right when a lot of families take their family vacation.  The party is a week away and I’ve had no RSVPs.  Now, maybe this is because people are notoriously bad about RSVPing (myself included) but I know of at least one girl who will be on a cruise.  We rented a cabin with a pool for a sleepover–my attempt to make the party cool enough not to be missed after my daughter lamented the fact that nobody ever comes to her parties.  I’m hoping and praying it’s not a flop.  I can’t take the hurt on my little girl’s face.

 5.  Bathing Suits.  A picture is worth a thousand words and there are some incredible pictures out there on the interwebs, but I’ll spare you that.

You’re welcome.

Related Posts:

Summer Road Trip–Alone With Five Kids
And So It Begins:  The Dreaded Summer Vacation